#1 Stunner!!!!!
Brandon L Coble, Writer
August 31, 2010
Filed under Fun Stuff
Down, Ready, Shock
It was not your normal routine police call, however it was memorable. Officers arrived to a house in Corvallis, Oregon after receiving a call that there was an intruder. Upon their arrival, they found 19-year-old Tyler Patrick Thomas of Kalispell, Montana intoxicated and belligerent.
Thomas was an offensive lineman for Oregon State University. So what is the real catch to this story you ask? Simple, Thomas was not only drunk and belligerent; he was also only wearing his birthday suit.
Officers ordered Thomas to get on the ground, but he decided to go out in a battle of glory. Thomas hopped into a 3-point stance with his man hood bearing. It was as if the QB had ordered hut. Thomas came to life charging and lunging towards the officers.
The officers used their stun guns to subdue Thomas. After being stunned, there laid Thomas, butt naked and electrified. But can you blame the cops?
After all, who wants to get tackled by a naked offensive line man? Thomas was arrested on suspicion of criminal trespass, criminal mischief and resisting arrest. Chances are that now he is literally the butt of all jokes. He has also been released from the team.
The Newport Bandit
The date was August 21st of two thousand and ten. The time was 3:23 in the morning. The place was Wilco Hess Station at 500 E. Innes St in Salisbury North Carolina. Two men entered the store.
The shorter of the two walked up to the counter with a confident swag. He ordered all the money from the cash register. The cashier, caught off guard, questioned if he was serious. He confirmed that indeed he was. The cashier obliged and handed over the cash. The robber then proceeded to count all of the cash.
Then, with a slight chuckle, he claimed he was just joking as he handed the cash back over to the cashier. The robber then asked the cashier for a $20 bill which the cashier handed over to him. He then asked for a pack of Newport cigarettes. When the cashier started to ring them up, he stated he wanted them and a grape flavored cigar for free.
Just like that The Newport Bandit was born. He knew that he was smooth and had a certain type of swag about himself, or maybe he just thought the cashier was really into him. He promptly asked for the cashier’s number. However, the cashier said she did not know if she should give it to him or not. Instead she suggested that maybe he could give her, his number.
The Newport Bandit, being the ladies man, obliged. He dropped off his digits and he and his friend left the store. The Cashier must have not been into him, because she gave his number to the cops. The Newport Bandit made off with a $20 bill, one grape-flavored cigar and a package of Newport cigarettes valued at $5.19. At this time The Newport Bandit is still at large.
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